even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
