I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
