11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
