We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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