I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
