just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
