Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
