wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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