wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
