Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
