Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
