It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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