Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
