North Korea, Best Korea!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
