I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
BRING THE BAGELS
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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