I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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