And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i think my cat just said my name.
did you just send me my own nude
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
