I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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