did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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