Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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