There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
