trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
