AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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