is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's never too late to be topless.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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