I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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