end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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