We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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