he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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