hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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