He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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