Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
