it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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