Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
