I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
