Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
