I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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