I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
