one might say we're banned from that church
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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