I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This house was built for laser tag.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
