I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
