Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
