Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She even gives head with a lisp.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
