There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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