You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
