so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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