i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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