he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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