Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
