Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
