I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's blow job season.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My dick has a subreddit
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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