no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
