Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wish you could order shots online.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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