If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
