I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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